Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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