HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
