I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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