her vagine was all disorganized.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
