am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
