I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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