you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
