have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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