she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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