Do vagina's smell?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
