Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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