I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
