We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize