help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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