You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
