I haven't been this sober since birth.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
