I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
