i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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