Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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