I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
