The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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