there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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