im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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