If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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