U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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