Plan B is the new Plan A
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
