i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
