it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
