Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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