she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
