We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
