ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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