didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
