Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
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