When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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