pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
