Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My dick has a subreddit
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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