Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
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