Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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