Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
