I wish I could teleport
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
