I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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