Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
