i permit you to call me
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
