stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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