My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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