hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
