my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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