Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Boobs are out for the taking
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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