did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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