So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
